The patterns you create in a relationship might reveal whether or not it will last. Patterns change from planning a first date till the day you get married or part ways. Even happy couples, according to experts, are susceptible to harmful relationship habits. However, if you notice it early enough and take action, you can prevent those unhealthy relationship patterns from harming your relationship. It’s essential to understand these patterns so you can recognize them right away. According to psychologists, you should break these destructive relationship patterns right now if you want your relationship to last longer. Many people leave one dysfunctional, toxic, or unhealthy relationship only to find themselves in another. Even when we strive hard to alter ourselves and seek out different types of friends and lovers, it’s difficult to resist the unconscious pull toward people who draw us into conflicts, activate our emotional wounds, and replicate familiar but unhealthy relationship roles and behaviors.
Furthermore, if you do not believe you deserve to be treated with respect and genuine love, you may repeat toxic relationship patterns unintentionally. These beliefs were most likely rooted in infancy, but you’ve been convincing yourself they’re trustworthy and unintentionally attracting people that reinforce them. My Date Jar brings you a few ways to break these relationship patterns.
Don’t Bring up Issues While Blaming Your Partner
This will make your partner feel threatened. When someone feels blamed, the natural reaction is to become defensive. So, instead of discussing a relationship issue, you wind up in an argument. Try bringing up an issue and communicating your feelings to break this tendency. Take a more vulnerable approach to it. Statements like “I don’t feel like my thoughts are being heard” are far easier to accept and respond to than “You never listen to me!”
Share What You Feel Without The Fear Of Losing Your Partner
It’s been said before, but open communication is critical if you want your relationship to last. As stated numerous times, even as easy as suppressing your feelings or expectations can be harmful. This can create a dynamic in which your partner has more “power” in the relationship than you do.
Do Not Expect Your Partner to Fix You
So often in relationships, we bring our baggage with us, believing that our partners will have a magic wand to cure the wounds that we have carried with us. This frequently produces problems because your partner is only human. It’s nearly complicated for them to “repair” problems that took years to develop in the first place. The reality is that it is your responsibility to fix yourself; your partner’s responsibility is to support you and share in your everyday experiences. Asking them to do more simply leads to resentment, disputes, and failure. Seeking expert assistance might also be beneficial if the situation seeks it.
Don’t Predict Your Partner’s Actions or Reactions
When you’ve grown entirely comfortable with your spouse, you may begin to believe that you can treat them differently. We frequently start to think that we have the right or ability to dominate the other person. We may believe we know them so well that we can anticipate their actions and reactions to everything we say and do. For example, you’re more prone to make assumptions because you’ve been together for a long time. Most of the time, your beliefs are based on how you want someone to behave rather than on fact. Your partner, on the other hand, is their person. You can’t predict how they’ll react or presume you know what they want. If you want your relationship to last, you must treat them as individuals. Talk to them every day to get to know them better, plan a date for her, or get him some presents.
Stop Fighting Over Unimportant Things
One of the primary causes of relationship failure is mindless or pointless bickering. This might harm your relationship if the conflicts and arguments outweigh the cheerful, excellent times you share. Before you raise an issue or assign blame, consider whether it will be relevant in five or ten years. If not, it’s OK to let go.
Don’t Go Overboard with Expressing Your Love on Social Media
Supporting your other half on their social media profiles is admirable and sweet, but it’s excessive when done regularly. Research has shown that couples who go beyond their love on social media are the most miserable. Instead of communicating and resolving issues, they overcompensate by publicizing positive things about their relationship. They do it to remind themselves that their relationship is most likely healthy.
Trust Your Intuitions
When you want things to work out so desperately, it’s tempting to dismiss your gut instinct that something is wrong. However, if you’re going to establish healthy habits for your relationship and yourself, you must trust your intuition. It’s OK to walk away if something doesn’t feel right, and it’s OK to prioritize yourself and your needs. The right relationship is one in which you do not have to make those compromises.
Better Stay Single than in a Toxic Relationship
Many people stay in violent or dysfunctional relationships because they do not want to be alone. However, taking time away from relationships can help you prioritize yourself in new ways, learn new skills, process your thoughts, and discover new insights. Being single or having fewer friends does not imply that you are defective. In reality, it might represent healthy self-esteem and the knowledge that you are deserving of good treatment.
Practice New Relationship Skills
You must adjust your behavior in order to change your relationship patterns. This could involve developing your communication skills, managing your emotions, setting limits, etc. Self-help books, psycho-educational groups, and counseling are terrific places to start.
You can slip into unhealthy relationship patterns without even recognizing it. So it’s critical to be conscious of them in order to build healthier patterns in your relationship. Making big changes necessitates a significant amount of effort. Realistically, you won’t be able to modify long-standing habits in a couple of weeks.