How to Build a Healthy Relationship?

Real-life is nothing like rom-com movies. If your life were a rom-com movie, you by now would have met someone through an accidental encounter on an escalator or a trip or in a bookshop or at your workplace. Your eyes would have met theirs, and you would have known “they are the one.” But this isn’t how real life works. You don’t meet the one; you don’t have an effortless, perfect relationship without going through the complex processes of love, attachments, and heartbreaks. It takes a lot of time and searches to find the one you click with, and sometimes the one you connect with isn’t the one you’re supposed to end up with. A standard newly dating advice for generation Z is to give time to everything, and time is the magic element for literally everything in life. A perfect relationship isn’t made overnight; there are efforts, hard work, willingness to make things right, availability for each other, making sure that everything is working out fine, and if it isn’t, then finding solutions to make it right. My Date Jar brings you some kickass tips on keeping your relationship and love life intact.

1. Today is a PRESENT

Many people who walk into a new relationship forget to dump the trauma of the last one. They keep dwelling and wallowing in the past while the present welcomes them with open arms. Don’t be this person, be welcoming towards the future and live in the present moment, especially when someone is ready to give you the warmth you’ve been looking for. The world is full of beautiful gifts; you need the vision to see. It is hard to let go of the pain that heartbreak has caused you, but don’t miss out on amazing people because of your fears. Don’t let your fears overpower you.

• Talk about the future

You need to shift your focus from your past to your future. By the future, you don’t need to ask how many kids they want on the first date; it means that once you two have spent an ample amount of time together, for example, if you two have been together for a year now, this is the time where you two should speak to each other about your future plans. It is essential because sometimes, two people who’re together aren’t on the same page. You might be planning a wedding, but your partner isn’t ready to think of moving in with you; it will be a trouble for you in the future, so it is better to communicate beforehand. Moreover, talking about life goals, political interests, religion, marriage, etc., isn’t always fun, but these conversations evaluate the seriousness of your relationship. Such discussions help you determine if you two are on the same page. So, talk about sensitive things no matter how uncomfortable you’re for the growth of your relationship.

• Love the person, not the idea

Most of us have religiously watched romance movies, and we have made these vast fantasies about our love lives. This is okay to some extent, but it might be toxic for your relationship. In movies, we’ve seen that the male protagonist makes sure everything is perfect for the first date, but when you sit down to plan a date for her, you struggle to make it look perfect. This is where evaluation comes into the picture; a relationship is never dependent upon worldly things; it is built with the essence of love and grows with the light of love. So, even if you can’t make it perfect, your efforts count because you’re doing it for the love of the person. Hence, don’t be in a relationship to experience the idea of love, but to experience the warmth of love, the contentment of having someone to share it all with, and to grow together.

• Meet people they hang out with

You can tell a lot about a person by judging the company they surround themselves with. So, meet their friends, meet the people they call their best friends, buddies, close friends, etc.; by meeting and hanging out with them for a while you can figure out if your relationship will work or not. Because if your partner chooses to hang out with people who are douchebags, then they are a douchebag too. To know a person more, keep an eye on their company.

• Don’t have important conversations over text

Every relationship goes through ups and downs. To solve problems, it is necessary to have conversations. But meaningful discussions shouldn’t happen within a screen. You can’t solve an argument over a text message because you’re unable to detect the tone and expression. Hence the conversation doesn’t reach an end and messes up the entire situation. Discussing your feelings and disagreements should always be done in in-person discussions. It always gives you more insight, and then you can find solutions quickly.

• Be yourself!

This is now a cliché advice, but it is one of the essential pieces of dating advice you need to follow in your love life. It is imperative to know your strengths and weaknesses to know your worth and stop pretending to be someone you are not. It is essential to keep your originality as a person intact. Many people make this common mistake of pretending to be someone they aren’t to be attractive to their partners. Their relationships fail terribly because they finally get tired of pretentious relationships. Such relationships are too much work with no growth because if you have to try so hard to keep something, it is better to let it go and find someone who would love you for who you’re. So, always know your worth and never settle for the less. A relationship requires work from both parties. It is essential to understand the importance of responsibility in being in a relationship. Once you have understood the sensitivity of the commitment, you are ready to grow and nurture your relationship.