Numerous conversations are happening when it comes to love. Each day, when you wake up and check your social media, you’ll witness at least one couple-goals worthy couple that makes you think, “what do I need to do to have it?” and there, you spend your whole day thinking and evaluating what is it you lack which isn’t letting you have what others have?
This is where you are wrong. Love is subjective, growth is different for everyone, and it can’t be compared to people you see through your gadget’s screen. The people you look at through your screens have been through some rough days to have what they have, or worse, you don’t even know if they have it for real; it is pretty much possible that they’re pretending to be what they are not. The first rule for the dating advice department is to stop with the comparisons. As mentioned earlier, love is subjective, and it is different for everyone. Sure, you don’t have what other people have, but many people don’t have what you have. My Date Jar has compiled ways to grow in a relationship to help those struggling to figure out the ways to grow in a relationship.
We often underestimate the importance of appreciation. A little appreciation goes a long way, and when you do it every day, it warms up your relationship. There are little ways of appreciating each other. Your man got a new job? Plan a date for him. Your girl graduated? Tell her how proud you’re of her. Pay attention to when they are talking and actively participate in the conversations. Give them suggestions if you can; if you can’t, make sure your presence is felt. We all need someone there for us; even you need that someone, and you only get it when you first become someone’s comfort place.
Humans have a nature that craves validation. Especially when two people are in love, they prioritize each other before anything else, and when they do, they expect something in return. They hope to be valued for all the efforts and adjustments they make. Many people think that constant validation isn’t necessary for a relationship; it is a wrong myth. You need to fuel your relationship with assurance every day. You need to tell your partner how much you value every little effort they make for this relationship. You need to do that in public and in private. Validation doesn’t cost you anything, it comes free, and if you utilize it correctly, it will do wonders for your relationship. A little dose of validation will nurture your relationship like nothing else.
Who doesn’t like compliments? And compliments from a person you’re attracted to? Name something better than this; we’ll wait!
It is essential to praise your partner now and then. You need to acknowledge the work they put into this relationship with you and make sure you tell them that out loud. Praise them for the little things they do for you. If your partner has dressed up cute on a date, tell them that. If you like them with their hair down, tell them that. If you want their choice of music, tell them that. Tell them if you’re in awe of their dedication and hard work. Make it cheesy and cringe; write small cute notes to them expressing your feelings; trust us, your partner will fall in love with you more and more with each passing day.
When it comes to making efforts in a relationship, many people think they need to act like Jack from Titanic. No, sometimes something as small as listening to your partner is an effort. When you’re in a relationship, you need to understand that you are responsible for becoming a safe space for your partner. Make efforts to be there for them. Put a nice meal together for them if they come home after a bad day. Show interest in conversations—plan cute dates. Ask them about their interests, life goals, and dreams. Tell them you’re proud of them. Repeatedly make them realize that you’re their safe space by listening and acknowledging them. Your efforts don’t have to be around materialistic things; you can do much more with small things because it’s the little things that matter the most in life.
Many people confuse love with a feeling. Feelings change over time; love is an action. It is vital to understand that a feeling can’t last forever, and even if it does, it transforms. So, you can’t stay in a sense forever. This means that you can’t abandon a relationship when you stop “feeling” it, which is why it is crucial to dig deeper into the causes of love. You need to know why you love a person, and you need to keep on finding reasons to love them more each day. You need to know the cause of your suffering with the person because no one ever sees a perfect partner. We all choose someone we’re willing to suffer with. Love your partner for who they’re, don’t put them under a microscope to judge them all the time. You need to focus on their efforts for you instead of paying attention to what they don’t do for you. A relationship survives and grows only when both ends are willing to put effort. While building and nurturing a relationship, it is necessary to seek consultation if you feel you cannot give your hundred percent. It is essential to be free of past traumas before you walk into a new relationship so that it doesn’t affect your bond with your partner. Many people miss out on great things because they are afraid of taking a risk, the fears come from the horrible things they have experienced, but at some point, you need to let go of your worries and be free.